Where my mind has been….

“Life is a desire, not a meaning” - Calvero, played by Charlie Chaplin, from the film Limelight (1952)

On this (fateful?) day back in 1995, I started using Calvero as my username and have been using it nonstop since. I do give some of the story on my homepage but I’ll tell it here and add more to it.

I had been on the internet since Jan of ‘95 through the university I was attending at the time where I was assigned a username. On this date I had signed onto a BBS, or Bulletin Board System called Dynasty. BBSs were big in the early-mid 90s. And, being a big Charlie Chaplin fan, I was trying to find a Chaplin related name. After thinkign through a small number of them, I decided on Calvero. Calvero is a character Chaplin plays in his 1952 film Limelight who is an aging comic/clown performer who saves a young woman from committing suicide (nope not a comedy though it has funny parts). The name sounded cool and sounded enough like a guy’s name so that I wouldn’t be swamped by desperate guys looking for a date.

I was hit on by a few but not many. I was hut on a couple times by a couple women thinking that I was a guy, which led to very humerous conversations before she caught on. Only one guy I met online I later did date for a little while under that name (met my husband on another bbs the following name using another Chaplin related name, that time a female name) and we have managed to stay in touch since then.

I have gone through times when my husband wanted me to change my username from my early BBS days so that others wouldn’t find me. I argued with him that I wanted to keep the name and he’s going to have to be ok with that.

Over the years people have thought that Limelight was my favorite film since I used the Calvero name. No, though it certainly is one of my favorites. And the music is also some of the best I’ve heard. Chaplin not only starred in the film, but he also directed, produced, had it shot in his own studio, composed the music, choreographed, costumed… I think I’m leaving something out.

Here is a version of the song. Not the one that’s in the movie, but a good version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUpiD8vEw2Y
Back in November ‘95 I had the great fortune to meet a photographer who was on the set of the movie. I had received one of his pictures from the set of the movie that has both Chaplin and another great silent film comedian, Buster Keaton, rehearsing a scene but both out of costume. He was selling his photographs at a local art show. He loved the idea that I used Calvero on the internet and we spent at least an hour talking and him telling me about what it was like during the making movie. And I spent a long time picking another photo. They were pretty expensive, like over $300 though all matted and framed. And I only had enough for one. So I decided on the only other picture that had both Chaplin and Keaton with them in costume in the midle of the same scene they were practicing before:

But if you are wondering if this is the same Charlie Chaplin who was the little tramp, yes it is. Here’s something that is a little more famous:

Good night for now!

This was the first Easter that I have celebrated in…gosh…several years. I started going to the local Methodist church and today was the second service I have attended. It was very nice. Nice to be in a church again after too many years and hear the story of the resurrection. Kristi put on the new dress that mom had gotten for her… very cute blue one with a bow in the back.

It was nice really nice today. There was an infant baptism as well with the Easter service. The baby boy was so well behaved. Looked serious at the right times and gave a big smile at the right times. Sooooo cute! That was something I wanted for Kristi and Katie but Mark didn’t want that.

Kristi was in Sunday school today so she didn’t see it but asked what baptism meant when I was telling her about the baby. So I gave the basic explanation of what it meant, both as a baby and an adult.

I was trying to think the last time I went to an Easter service…and honestly I can’t remember. Maybe ‘97? I know I went in ‘96, that was right before I joined the circus (ahh, the circus… that’s another story… well, that’s several stories actually, both good and not so great). There was no communion which I remember being a part of Easter service growing up, but that’s ok

The service was also very nice. I sang songs that I haven’t sang in a long time and I really didn’t need the hymnal, except for one song. The tune I knew but the words were different. Always something to keep me on my toes :).

After the service we had to get some food for Katie, and boy was it packed. But we were only getting a few things so it didn’t take long. Kristi kept asking me to get ice cream and other things that weren’t necessary.

We got home and my sister and her two boys were there, along with my other sister, and all the kids played in the house while mom worked on dinner. A few minutes later my sister’s husband came in then later brother, his wife and there soon to be 1 year old son came in. So now there’s three babies in the house that are only a few months apart. Plenty of action, let me tell you! Along with Kristi, and my nephew who is 4 (I think so…was thinking 5 but I think 4).

Egghunt wasn’t too far off. It was Kristi’s second egghunt, the first one being yesterday at the church. Yesterday we colored eggs for the first time. We had 11 eggs, don’t know what happened to the 12th. Megan (one of my sisters) colored one egg, I colored another (pink speckeled with LOVE written on it with a swirl and a heart). Kristi colored all the others. I’m so glad she’s still young enough to enjoy doing this. I loved coloring eggs when I was a kid. I explained to her that if she left the egg in the dyed water, it would get brighter. All strategy ;).

Back to today’s egghunt, the kids ran all over the yard looking in the front and side yard. Since Katie still isn’t walking yet (although she’s really close), I carried her over to the eggs and let her grab it and put it in the basket.

Kristi used my old basket. Come to think of it, I think she did do an egghunt before this year. I remember her going around with my basket before. But she had that thing over th top with eggs. No real eggs were used in the hunt….haha, slight attempt at humor there :). All were the plastic hollow ones that mom put either money, candy, or they had those small sponges/foam things that when you put a little water on them, they get bigger. The ones we had were animals.

Dinner was really good, as usual. There was chicken and dumplings, lasagna (for people who didn’t like chicken and dumplings), homemade bread, vegetables, and for dessert we had lemon meringue pie. I was stuffed.

But it was a very good day… more is yet to come! I so love being with family again and positive energy. A great place to restart my life.

And this great day is almost over…onto another one!

Well, this is like my fourth or fifth blog I have started.  Never wrote very much but now that I have a webhost that I like, and I have a little more opportunity, I might be able to write be more.

For now, I’m 35, just about to be divorce, and mom to two girls; Kristi who is 9 and Katie who is 17 months.  I was married…well, technically I still am married… to Mark for ten years.

I’m a big fan of podcasts, classic comedy (especially Charlie Chaplin and the Smothers Brothers), Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who, and computer video games (classic and some newer ones).  I also run a support group for cleft lip and palate (two types of facial birth conditions, both of which I was born with) called CleftClub.com.  Along with listening to podcasts, I have a small network of shows I created called the Smile Podcast Network.

I am also a Christian, having been brought up in the United Church of Christ, which is one of the more liberal denominations of Christianity.  I am finding my way back to Christ after not having been allowed to attend church during my marriage, and it has been very comforting with going through the divorce.  And recently I have become a big fan of Christian rock music again after having been away for almost 20 years.  Favorite musicians are Newsboys (who are also Kristi’s favorite… we have almost worn out their “Go” album), Needtobreathe (really, that’s not a typo, that’s how they spell it), Brandon Heath, David Crowder*Band (again, that’s how they spell it), and a few others.

And with a divorce, I’m trying to find a new normal.  We (the girls and me) have moved  to my parents homestead for the moment until I can get steady again.  It’s taking an adjustment for all of us but we find a way to make it work.

And what will this blog be on?   I guess the normal stuff, just from a 35 female mom almost divorced point of view :). While I have a personal podcast, Basket of Thoughts, I may not always have the equipment hooked up to record, so then I will do a blog entry if there isn’t a kid pulling on my leg or needing help with homework, or wanting something to eat, or….

Speaking of eating, it’s dinner time!